What kept me here through dark months

I have never seriously considered quitting the program. I've thought, "Wow, this really sucks. Do I really have to do this another year?" I've thought, "I am not naturally engineered for this kind of stress and turbulence. I do not like this pace of life one bit." I've thought, "I'll put in these two years. After that, no question, I'm out. This is in no way sustainable for me." I've thought, "If there were any way for the way I feel now to have been implanted in me at the time I decided to join MTC, I would not have decided to do this." 

Why did I never consider quitting? These factors come to mind. 

1. Commitment to community - I have a lot of respect and faith in what my school and administration are doing. I do feel like like we are a team and like progress is being made at my school. I feel like MTC is a key player in that change. I knew that the conditions at my school did not compare to the scale of stuff that happens in the Delta, and my generally having a distaste for what I was doing and the considerable stresses involved were not enough of a reason to quit.  I knew going in that this would be tough. Many MTC folks said there was really no way to describe how difficult it would be. I took listened and decided to commit anyway.  I felt no considerable threat to my sanity and well-being, so I knew I could stick it out. 

2. MTC camaraderie in my school - This ties in to commitment to community, but having several other current and former MTC teachers at my school makes me feel fortified. Even if I do not communicate with most of them at length daily or even weekly, just seeing each other in the hallway or lunchroom while shuffling boisterous kids to lunch and out to the buses makes a big difference. Sharing knowing, empathetic glances with other teachers on a parallel mission during the day is comforting and helps foster loyalty to my school. I can't imagine being in a school on my own without other MTC teachers. Beyond the casual daily encounters with other MTC teachers at school, being able to collaborate with another first-year on grade-level business is invaluable. Matthew and I suffered through summer school together in the same classroom, and now we continue to troubleshoot together. Having a partnership has been immensely helpful pragmatically and spiritually.

3. Saturday reunions - Although Saturday classes are generally unwelcome, I feel like Saturdays generally give me a new boost for teaching. They make me reflect on why I came here in the first place, and I usually leave with those reasons renewed in a way. While a lot of Saturday is a vent session, I am often able to see a school problem I've been having with fresh eyes. 

I know I haven't offered any suggestions here for what MTC can do to improve. I've just been trying to unlock what has kept me here. One suggestion that comes to mind is not adding obligations and responsibilities to a class mid-year. We experience so much change and inconsistency in our work that I have found I cling to stability and knowing what to expect in other areas of life more than I ever have. While I was not opposed to call logs, I feel like that would have been better implemented with the next class and that it caused much anger and frustration among first-years.