If there's one image that I'll remember from these few weeks in my life, I think it will be looking out the front of the bus the moment before we cross the old, rusty bridge on Highway 7 between Oxford and Holly Springs. At 6:50 in the morning, it often has this mythical quality with mist hanging over its edges. It's beautiful. Every morning, I find myself centered as we cross: The world works its beauty and wonders no matter what will happen that day at Holly Springs High. And that bridge will still be there on the drive home. I will, too.
I can't believe we've only been teaching for two weeks now. Each day goes by so fast, and yet, they're longer days than I've ever lived. On average, I go to bed at 1:30 a.m. to wake up at 5:30 a.m. Each day is different and distinct, and yet, they all run together in my mind in retrospect. I'm a teacher. I do the teacher thing and end up talking about the classroom and my students for much of the time when I'm not at school. I guess it can only be expected since our lives currently revolve around Holly Springs High School and our future schools. I'm a teacher. It's still kind of hard to believe.
It surprised me how easy it was on my first day teaching to live into my teacher persona. I felt pretty natural, and the class was under control and engaged. I felt so relieved, grateful, and downright happy about the way my first lesson went that I cried that afternoon when the bus got back to Oxford. The next two weeks, however, came with less ease. I felt my class testing me more and more as they became comfortable in our room and maybe realized the temporary nature of our summer school interactions. I've been happy about the way I respond to my bad days. If one of my lessons goes poorly and the students don't respond in the way I had hoped, I have been able to look at it pretty objectively and not be hard on myself. I think that's essential to surviving these two years.
In the first week I felt like I was able to get to know a few of my students outside of class. At the end of the second day, one of the girls in my class told me, "Ms. Schmidt, you smiling all day. That's good." I thought it was funny since I had been trying to look a little bit more serious than I usually am, but I knew that I would not be able to keep from smiling for an extended period of time, as had been recommended to us by a few veteran teachers.
Later in the week the same girl passed a scrapbook to one of her friends in the classroom. At lunch I told her I saw the scrapbook and told her I like scrapbooking, too. We talked about it for a few minutes, and the next day during one of our breaks, she handed her scrapbook to me and left it for me to peruse. That day at lunch I asked her questions about some of the things she wrote in her scrapbook--that her favorite trip had been to Jackson and that she was in the JROTC. The fourth day of summer school she and her friends asked me to sit with them at lunch.
I've found that she is someone I can really count on in the classroom. If I ask for a volunteer, and no one responds, she will often volunteer. I've been careful to not be lenient on her behavior just because we've interacted so much outside of class, but it's good to know that there's at least one student in the room who respects me and maybe even likes me.
I've learned so much in these two weeks, and I can only imagine all I will have experienced and learned after two years.
"If one of my lessons goes poorly and the students don't respond in the way I had hoped, I have been able to look at it pretty objectively and not be hard on myself. I think that's essential to surviving these two years."
ReplyDeleteMs. Catherine, continue to have a spirit that will not allow you to get either too high or too low. There will be days that you want to scream and there will be days of joyful shouting. Remember as you said in such a wonderful way, those same bridges will be there day after day. it's how you approach them that makes all of the difference.
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